What Does It Take to Become an Exemplary Father?

Super dads and cool dads offering positive parenting are trending these days. We have all heard of women striving to be the best mommies, juggling between work and home. What about how to become an exemplary father?

Fatherhood is a roller coaster ride, almost like motherhood. Every man worth his salt wants to be an exemplary father to his children.

Fatherhood is difficult, challenging and also the most humbling experience of life. Every dad is afraid that he might mess up and that he’ll be a failure as a dad.

• Also Read – Discipline: Who is Responsible for Disciplining a Child?

Here are some top pointers for being a super dad and the world’s best dad. Hoping they will help you become a more awesome father than what you are now. Think of it as a kind of cheat sheet, ready for you whenever you need help.

Here are Some Do’s and Don’ts for Being an Exemplary Father

Do’s

1. Quality Time

• Get involved with the child’s daily activities. Pitch in as often as you can, time permitting. This helps building confidence within your children.
• Cherish the time you have with them. You will be amazed at how soon it’ll all be over. The birds will soon fly away from the nest.
• Spend quality time with your children and be present with them on all those big moments of their lives – birthdays, a soccer game, music recitals, science exhibition.
• It means a great deal to children and goes a long way in making you an exemplary father.

2. Laugh with Them to become an Exemplary Father

• Never laugh at your kids. Instead, the superdad laughs with them.

Free play is great for developing their imagination. Play with them, with their building toys, create a fort with them, do a role-play, watch a cartoon movie with them. There are endless possibilities. Mark my words; you’ll have more fun than they do.

You will soon find them confiding more in their cool dad. You’re then well on your way to becoming an exemplary father as well as the best friend for your children

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3. Carrot and Stick Approach Makes for a Great Dad

• Spare the rod and spoil the child. Very true. Discipline and parental control is a must. Say a firm no whenever necessary.
• Lay down rules, but ensure that they are reasonable ones.
• Move with the times. What you did in your childhood need not be applicable today.
• Apply the carrot and stick approach. Be gentle but firm and you’ll see the kids respond with a smile.

4. Role Model Father

• Be a role model so that they can say they learnt from dad.
• Practice what you preach. If you say one thing and then go about doing just the opposite, you’re just ruining the message.
• Your children are watching you, so excessive drinking, smoking, laziness, negativity, anger, sloppiness will all rub off on the child.

5. Firm but Kind Super Dad

• Be firm, but not dictatorial. It’s easy to be an authoritarian dad all the time, but you’re only getting obedience and respect by force this way. Discipline must not become abuse.
• How to be an exemplary dad? Try allowing your children some independence.
• Allow them to make decisions, though within the set parameters. For instance, a great father allows them to select between two healthy options for breakfast, instead of just allowing them to eat chocolates or candy for breakfast.
• Allowing children to take decisions and do things will increase their self-worth.
• You’d be surprised to know that many children wash their dishes, they clean the house, clean up their rooms, put away the laundry, and even shower and dress by themselves.

I agree it could be time consuming to teach children sometimes in your quest to how to become a better dad.  You’d much rather do it yourself. But it’s worth it in the long run.

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6. Free to Flower

• Allow the child to be what he/she is, instead of molding him/her into what you want them to be.
• All children come with a unique personality and character. Allow the positive ones to flourish, bloom and flower.
• Love and shower affection on the child for what he is and not for what you wish him to become.

7. Respect your Wife

• An important trait of an exemplary father is that he treats the mother with dignity and shows love, tenderness, warmth and kindness towards her.

8. Be a Responsible Provider

• You are the provider. You need to do all you can to offer financial and emotional support for your children.
• Pay attention to their health and their education as part of positive parenting.

9. Patience, Patience, Patience

• Anger and frustration are all part of fatherhood, but it is not the best thing for your child.
• Take a deep breath; go for a walk when you feel you’re losing it, if you want to be an exemplary father.
• Your kid could have been writing with crayon all over the walls or dumped liquid on your favorite couch or sneaked out without telling you.
• Be sure to convey the message that you don’t approve of the behavior. But remain in control and don’t lose your sanity.
• Try to find humor in non-serious situations and learn to laugh with your children if you want to be a great dad.

Don’ts

1. Never transmit mixed signals. Actions speak louder than words. If you ask them to behave in a particular manner, make sure that you set an example for the same. This will reinforce the idea. If you behave contradictorily, it only ends up confusing a child.
2. Don’t compare your children with others in the neighborhood. Taking this cue one step further, don’t compare your child with another in the family as well. It’s the perfect formula for unhealthy competition, which you don’t want as the best dad in the world.
3. Do not yell at your partner (wife) in front of the children; don’t lie to her or show any form of violence. Don’t dominate her if you want to be a great father.
4. Don’t be an absent father. Most dads make the error of never being there for their children. It’s either work or fun with friends. Keep some time aside for the children every week and every day. No one should violate this time.

To Sum Up

Don’t overthink the problem or worry too much about becoming the most amazing dad in the world…

There’s so much advice going around and some of them are contradictory. There are hundreds of books out there on how to become an exemplary father.

One book says be a disciplinarian, the other vouches for freedom and a third one says, be a cool dad and a friend and the fourth, well you get my drift. So, which one is right?

How do you become the world’s best dad?

Work at making your family rock solid and being a good husband. Becoming the world’s exemplary father is a natural follow up. It’s guaranteed.